A post about emotions – that’s the disclaimer

There is nothing like falling in love.

Say what you will (since I probably have) about love and all of it. But really, when you’re in love and you know beyond a shadow of a doubt the person loves you too, there are few feelings that can match it.

And this summer, I somehow found myself falling in love again. This, coming from the girl that swore up and down she would never fall in love again, that she couldn’t fall in love again.

That there was something so fundamentally wrong with me that I was only capable of being in love once. That I could/would never have the energy or ability to love like that again.

And a saying I heard once in high school rings true: when you’re in love you will swear that this is nothing you’ve ever felt before and stronger than any love you’ve ever felt.

Okay, so I’m paraphrasing – give me a break, it’s been awhile since I’ve been in high school.

Though revisiting it, it seems true but the way I see it, people want to believe in this. For me, it’s not the case. It’s not stronger than the only other time I’ve been in love, there is no standard to reflect what love outweighs the other. It’s different but it’s different because I’ve changed. The things I wanted when I was in love before aren’t what I want in a significant other now.

And that’s a huge part of why I’m so dumbfounded. It’s hard enough finding someone that ticks a few of your boxes, but to find someone that does that and is on the same page as you? Wants the same things for their future? I wasn’t sure it was possible to meet someone like that.

But he exists.

Sarcastic sense of humor – check

Brilliant – check

(I’m going to get slack for this but whatever…) Good at “manly” things, like fixing cars and stuff around the house – check

Nerdy in a completely adorable way – check

Into the same sports I am – check

Loves to travel – check (he’s been to more countries than I have and would totally go with me to Cambodia for as long as I wanted)

Attractive – check (and double check)

Has goals for the future and a (slowly coming together) plan to obtain them – check

Makes me smile just by smiling at me – making me feel completely green to feeling like this – check

And even if it doesn’t last, it’s been worth it. Every second, every laugh, every moment that I’ve spent with him realizing I’m not worried he’s too good for me or will change his mind.

For every one of those days we’ve had where he’s called me sporadically during the day because he missed me and couldn’t wait until that night.

It’s worth it. It’s worth feeling this even with the knowledge that it might (most likely) will come to an end. Nothing lasts forever, but… and take this with a grain of salt, please…

But I could see this turning into a forever kind of thing.

 

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Categories: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

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One thought on “A post about emotions – that’s the disclaimer

  1. Hmm. I really enjoyed this emotion’s disclaimer-entry. I think emotions are a powerful tool, and when we’re exploring them, like when falling in love, it’s a great way to churn our souls. It’s a great way to feel – something – anything – lovely. I hope the fall season is treating you and loved ones well 🙂

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